Families and Children
Healing the Child Soul
When the current family issue includes children, the constellation work can be approached in specific ways to create a healing picture for the whole family.
Whether the challenge is systemic pressure from the past or a difficulty in the current system, as in cases of divorce or death of a family member, the child so often can feel responsible and burdened by these events in ways they can neither articulate nor understand.
These burdens become issues when the child endeavors to be in life, yet somehow struggles with daily tasks and relationships with others. This may show up as learning difficulties and angry outbursts, defiant behaviors and even illness.
Constellations are a way of looking at what is burdensome to the family system by making visible certain connections in the system that go beyond the current family. In this way of working, patterns can be broken that might normally lead to struggle and illness which can deprive the children of the strength they need for their own development.
If the parents have a difficult life, often the children do as well. In this way, it is important that the burdens of the family are looked at in this deeper way, so that the burdens can become lighter and more manageable.
The first step is in acknowledging what is heavy in the family system. And while we cannot change the past or its effects, the acknowledgement itself is a deep relief for the children and can often make the therapy for them obsolete.
Conception and Pregnancy
In addition to working with parents and children, we also welcome both those who are expecting a child or who are considering having children. Welcoming children into the world can be quite challenging as well as joyful. Whenever there have been any previous difficulties with childbirth, as in the case of miscarriages or abortions, the constellation work can shed new light and create a healing space through acknowledgement of the past. This often includes looking deeply at the female ancestors and their childbirth histories.
How We Work
When parents who have problems with their children come to work with us, we begin with a conversation with the adults to determine the essence of their inner picture of the family. At the same time, one of us is with the children using art and play so that we can have an impression of their inner images of the family. When the family has left, these impressions are exchanged and later shared with the parents and sometimes the child, when appropriate.
Parents are often surprised when they hear about the impute of the children. So often, parents are convinced that the children do not know about certain events in the family. However, experience shows that the children are much more connected in some ways to what has happened in the family than the adults. This is felt mostly at an unconscious level.
Children and adolescents are deeply relieved and much more calm and peaceful when we address this deep unconscious level and when they can directly experience the healing images.
When using the constellation model, we will often, when appropriate, include the children in the constellation.
May 6 2017Constellation WorkshopNew York City
May 7 2017Walking in Your Shoes WorkshopNew York City